Thursday, July 31, 2008

Simple Economy of Cows

You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

You have two cows.
You worship them.

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...

Source Unknown


Imelda said...

You gae me a good laugh today through this post.

Nick Phillips said...

Heavens be praised! Is that really you buddy?

*rubbing eyes in disbelief*

I thought the aliens got you or something. LOL! How's the studies coming along?

Hope all is well bud, got to catch up one day. Cheers and happy weekend :D

Mariuca said...

He he!! Funny la Nick! ;)

ALAKAZAM!!! Hi GK, hope all is okay with u and ur studies. Seems like GK has turned into a bookworm nowadays, when are u gonna get a nice semester break or something? I mean like for a couple of months or so.

Thanks for stopping by to drop off ur good luck wish to Jean and me yesterday, I WON yeeha! But everybody went home with pressies in the end, so we had a blast! :):):)

Adrian said...

Welcome Imelda!! Always happy to make someone happy! :) Cheers!

Adrian said...

Nicholas! Is that you I see? Oh boy must be my lucky day? No wonder you're rubbing your eyes...were you asleep LOL

Studies are coming along's accounting this semester so you know lah? LOL

Yes we get together soemtime...wish you didn't just keep saying that and do someting about it!! hehehe

Cheers bud and have a great weekend! :)

Adrian said...

Alakazam! GP!! Me a book I wish....the minute I open my textbook I get sleep or hungry or anything that will turn my attention away from studying!! hehe

No long breaks lah GP! Will have to wait until next year for a real break...when hopefully all this is over and done with....

Would you believe that I have class even today!! DOH! Sad ain't it!

Congratulations to all the winners! And to you for getting first place! Nice pressies too! :)

Cheers GP and alakazam to you too! :)

Lotus Flower said...

Perfectly subtle politics milled with humor.


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