Tuesday Tickles

Okay it's been a gruelling few days with tons of work just pouring in. At home I have loads to do with Christmas just around the proverbial corner too! Combined I haven't had time to blog and have just been in and out a little. So when this came about today I just knew I had to post it and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to His HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying. My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.

The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?

Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?

Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?

Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?

Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?

Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?

Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?

Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?

Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?

Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

PS That's why I love my job...in HR! LOL

Oh and I'm also thinking of having a meme/tag free month in December! yeah everybody loves memes right and I must be out of my mind to want to refuse memes but it's only for a month and then I'll be back to my old meme generating ways! LOL

I'd like to invite anyone who is interested in my Tag Free Month Movement to put up the cute badge below too! Awww come on....you know you wanna do it!!!

Join the Movement!

<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hI7gS7XiJBM/R0hg1lo4KyI/AAAAAAAAAoM/1g_VQOxb_Fg/s1600-h/Tag+Free+Month.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5136461848768949026" border="0" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_hI7gS7XiJBM/R0hg1lo4KyI/AAAAAAAAAoM/1g_VQOxb_Fg/s200/Tag+Free+Month.jpg" /></a>

Five Old Posts Meme

Cbenc12 and Markeff ( and maybe a few others too) have tagged me for ‘5 Old Post Meme’. Thanks guys and I humbly apologize for taking so very very very long to post this but it's finally out! Here are my five favaourite old posts (which are not really that old because I've only been blogging since late May this year) not in any particular order:

Homer Kidnapped

Something Ends

Good Night Sweetheart! Hello Basil!

A Walk Down memory lane

Monster Meatballs!

Now I'd like the following bloggers:

Auntie Dar

Chinnee

Ozzieblackcat

rinnah

Bless

Now I'm looking forward to reading your five old posts and please don't procastinate like I did! LOL

WOMEN AS EXPLAINED BY ENGINEERS

As usual I begin Monday with something amusing for everyone! Ladies...no offence intended (besides I got it from a woman) ;p Enjoy!

PART I



PART II

PART III

PART IV


PART V

SEVEN!

Seven seems to be a lucky number or at least a significant number in our everyday lives! A lot of things refer to seven in some way or another. Take for instance the bible says that you must forgive your brother not seven times but seven times seven! In movies James Bond is 007, and there was a movie called Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and the Magnificent Seven, oh and the movie Seven about the seven mortal sins in the bible. And if you break a mirror it's seven years bad luck! What about 7Up, can you imagine drinking 5Up. Even slot machines have 777. The list goes on and on. Today being 07-07-07 seems to be a special day for many but for me it was just anopther day but I decided to mark this day by writing about seven things I did today that were significant! So here goes:

1) I woke up (coincidently at 7)! We sometimes take waking up for granted but with life so fragile in certain quarters of the world we need to sometimes think about how lucky we are to just be alive!

2) I felt the sun in my back and the wind in my face. Okay, I went to the gym (at 7.45) and it was hot outside and the sun was really shining on my back through the glass panels and the wind from the AC was in my face LOL. Okay going to the gym sounds lame except to me it was significant because yesterday evening I went too. So that was twice in slightly more than 12 hours. Moreover it was also 4 times in a row (Wed - Sat). That's a big achievement for me! LOL

3) Took the little one to Tumble Tots in 1 Utama (shopping mall) for the first time after talking about it for months. She was a little shy at first but soon got the hang of things. I enjoyed sitting there watching her and wifey climb, and balance, and tumble and slide all over the place. We all had fun. Want to do it again but not ready to commit time. Classes are weekly. We're in denial! Because once it starts, taking her for classes, that is, it won't stop! I want to send her for ballet and swimming and Tae Kwan Do and piano too. That's all! LOL

4) Looked for a birthday present for my godson Craig whose 8th birthday is on the 12th. Wanted to buy him a Transformers robot but they were all sold out at Toys R Us and Jusco. Jusco had a few that made noise but nothing that transformed. What's the use of buying a Transformers that doesn't transform! Anyway, I also saw an Optimus Prime helmet that talked and had a voice changer. I wanted to get it for myself...errr and my daughter (yeah sure). Yes, I can still be a kid sometimes! Had it under my arm and was ready to go but wifey said NO! sniff sniff...it was so cool! I'll get it somehow! LOL

5) Went for lunch at Chili's. We've been going there pretty regularly except for the past few months and we found out that they had taken out our favourite item off the menu. Steak and Portabello Fajitas! Yummy! Actually we found out a few weeks back but didn't realize it because we went to a different branch and thought that they had a different menu. So when we went to our usual joint and saw the new menus we were so disappointed! The Cajun Steak Fajitas just didn't taste the same! Need to find a new joint! (You guys from Chili's reading this better put it back on the menu or lose a valuable customer! LOL)

6) Went to Church!. Yeah I don't go often enough but sometimes when the moon is aligned with the sun and Venus and Jupiter I do go. Anyway, I ran into some friends whom I haven't seen in a while and they said that I had lost weight and looked good. HAHAHA It's was so nice to hear! LOL

7) I'm going to sleep early! Why? Because I'm so bloody tired! It's been a full day! Besides I'm planning on hitting the gym again tomorrow morning bright and early! LOL Problem is someone in the neighbourhood is getting married and they keep letting off fireworks. The big and loud kind! Hope they quit soon! :)

So that's my significant seven! Hope you all had a fine day too!

DOH!

One Two Three - I Can Not Believe It!

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle! My good buddy Nick has bestowed upon little old me an Awesome Guy Blogger Award. My second AGB of the day if you can believe it! We both were recipients of this cool award from DiamondSapphire (see post below) this morning! Together with the Power of Schmooze Award I received from dear old Marzie yesterday (see the post below the post below) that makes THREE!

Man I feel like it's Oscar nite at Bloggywood and I'm Brad Pitt or something (more like something) LOL. Thanks Buddy! I'm not going to send it on today because I seriously think that there are too many awards out there as it is and that the awards are losing their significance! Maybe next week LOL

Hmmm Maybe I'll get "Fore More" (check ye older posts for this reference) tomorrow and it'll really be 7-7-7 DOH ! Ka-ching LOL

ROCKin' & AWEsome

When it rains in pours! It must be awards season because as soon as I'd sent out the Power of Schmooze Award which I got from Marzie, I get a Awesome Guy Blogger Award from DiamondSapphire. Best part is my good buddy Nick also got one too. Talk about a great week! By the way do these awards come with any cash? LOL

I'm not a man of many words (most of the time) and I want to keep this brief because I don't have the time right now (juggling between the little one, work and the gym and trying to blog) and because I want to send this to one particularly special person who I feel deserves this award before someone else gets to her. :)

Marzie for the friend you are! You've blown me away with your kindness and patience in helping me on my way! And from what I've read you've done this for everyone and they all are touched my your magical hand! You really are A Rocking Girl Blogger no matter what they say LOL!

Janice you a a really geat mom who is so wonderful with your Amos and Zach! And one Rocking Mom!

Yasmin For making me laugh with the jokes you post! You rock!

Speedcathollydale For the witty comments that you left behind! Awesome Dude!

Barrett For the support you always gave! You're Awesome!

Congratulations to all the wonderful recipients! The check is in the mail but I wouldn't hold my breath! LOL Yikes look at the time...gotta run! Ciao!

Schmoozalicious Baby!

DOH! What can I say - this is my first award and I am absolutely thrilled by it! I'd like to thank my good friend and mentor Marzie for giving me this boost of blogging confidence! When I started here I was absolutely lost and I found a friend who was both patient and kind in Marzie. She patiently helped me beef up my blog to something readable! I really don't know how she finds the time but she does and I've truly grateful to her for that! Okay enough sucking up! ; ) LOL

As it goes, schmoozing is the natural ability “to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” Good schmoozers effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship. So how in the world I got this award I will never know LOL but I've thought of five great people who have made me welcome and schmoozed their way into my blog and life that I'd like to give this most prestigious Power of Schmooze Award!

Nick for being my best buddy for over twenty long painful years LOL He was the evil rat who introduced me to blogging and everyone knows once your blog you never can stop! LOL Buddy! You deserve this! I hope to see it on Anything Goes and make sure you pass it on or I'll have to come there and smack you! LOL

For the rest of the awardees I'd like to make it simple. Each one of you below have made blogging here a pleasure and made me want to go on, I sincerely would like to award the Power of Schmooze to you. I'm only sorry that I've only got "four more" awards to give! to the rest who I've missed out, you still are great friends and Schmoozers to me!

DiamondSapphire

Barrett

Ron

Ann

My heartiest congratulation to all 5 bloggers! Now it’s your turn to award 5 other bloggers with the Power of Schmooze Award! Cheers!

HOMER KIDNAPPED!

It was a warm night and the police were everywhere looking for clues. The family members were huddled in a corner praying for the safe return of their beloved father. Homer J. Simpson has been kidnapped. The news first broke in the Malay Mail so clik on the link for the full story.

Homer at at a recent fancy dress party!

Yes, folks, it had to happen sooner or later. This huge celebrity icon refused to hire additional security or move to a more secure neighborhood. Instead he choose to stay in his home in Springfield. However, that was not where the loveable character was kidnapped from. While on a promotional tour in Malaysia for the upcoming and much eagarly awaited Simpsons movie, he was kidnapped from righ under his family's noses.

This reporter managed to get some exclusive interviews with the family and friends. This is what his beloved wife Marge had this to say "Oh who would want to do a thing like that? Where's my Homey! Homey!" and then she broke off into tears.

Lisa, his brainy daughter was on hand to console her "Dad will be okay but who would want to do this to us? If you're listening, Please bring my father back, we miss him!" Young Bart Simpson put on a brave face too and recollected the time he was kidnapped and said "Sideshow
Bob! It's me you want! Let my father go or ELSE..." and he left it up to his main suspect to conjure up what devious punishment that would be inflicted by Bart. When approached little teary eyed Maggie Simpson had only this to say "Chup, Chup, Chup".

We managed to call some of Homer friends back in Springfield for an interview. Bartender and long time confidant Moe Sizlak said "Homer there's a beer waiting for you at the bar...so when are you gonna pay me!" barney Gumble wanted to say a few words but could only manage "Buuuurrrppppp" before passing out. Mr. Burn's his employer at the plant had only this to say when told abou tthe kidnapping "Excellent!".

Well there you have it folks. The inside scoop of how the family and friends of Homer Simpson are reacting while they await his return. And to the kidnappers I make this heartfelt plea - Please return Homer -The world just isn't the same without him!